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Go to Hell, RiffTrax!

January 14, 2009

A common exhortation extended by the good folks on the Rifftrax Blog is the exhortation to, quote: “Go to Hell”

This particular exhortation has been proffered to, and, one presumes, rejected by, powerhouses such as “Irony”, and lesser contenders such as “Healthy Halloween Snacks”.

Were it not for their jovial demeanor, one might easily confuse such behavior with that of a rather intolerant member of the usually tolerant Hamas, or, for that matter, any dangerously unstable lunatic, such as, say, Samuel Wurzelbacher.


So, if even merchants of mirth can find themselves resorting to such outbursts, it should really come as no surprise that I, myself, am capable of sinking to such a level.

For those unaware, Rifftrax are feature length, secondary audio tracks featuring comedic commentary to be played simultaneously with the movie. This commentary is provided by the former writers and stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000: Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett.

At present, they have done commentaries for over 70 films, and there’s the rub.

70 commentaries for films that one can’t wait to see get their comeuppance.

Big Budget dreck that has been begging to be taken to task and treated the same way that these films treat their audiences.

Science Fiction that asks all the important philosophical questions that sci-fi should ask. Questions like:

“Could a technologically superior race of hostile beings hope to overcome the serendipitous assault manoeuvers of a drunken Randy Quaid?”


“What kind of zany misadventures would Mantan Moreland get into if he was a CGI Lizard/Camel hybrid?”

No fewer than twelve of their commentaries are for comic book based films. An effort to capture the much coveted “Geek Market”, no doubt. This demographic is particularly prized for its willingness to spend its disposable income in the most shockingly frivolous manner, such as shelling out $295 for a 1:6 Scale Bat-Pod Replica from the, so-called, “greatest movie of all time”, The Dark Knight.

The typical consumer may well be satisfied to only buy the Rifftrax to films he already owns, and then pick up more according to his own individual dvd rental habits. Then it may occur to that same consumer, when he finds himself wanting to revisit the Rifftrax (and he will), that it costs more to rent the same film twice than it does to pick up a used copy somewhere. Furthermore, if one searches the internet, one can find most of the movies new for roughly the same price.

Then, one day, he finds himself standing in line at Circuit City, clutching in his hands, a copy of Top Gun starring Tom Cruise. It’s on sale for $4.99. For less than $9 for both the dvd and the Rifftrax, he’s gonna have a great evening of laughter, but he’s going to have to live with the shame of knowing that HE NOW OWNS A COPY OF TOP GUN.


So, for making me buy Top Gun, I say:


(But keep ’em coming!)

One Comment leave one →
  1. Beautiful Mind permalink
    February 26, 2009 9:32 pm

    Yeah I now own Daredevil for heaven’s sake!

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